Is your relationship everything it could be?
We (Jack and Soorya) have noticed something about the patterns that almost all committed couples go through. We saw these patterns in our own relationship, and in the relationships of nearly all of our clients and friends. Maybe you’ve seen them in yours?
In the early days, everything is wonderful
You and your relationship partner are the centre of each other’s worlds. You feel blissfully loved and deeply valued. The communication flows easily and smoothly between you, punctuated by frequent heartfelt “I love you”s. And you never feel more connected, happy or alive than when you’re resting, eyes closed, snuggling softly in each other’s arms.
But then? LIFE happens!
You have kids. Jobs. Responsibilities. Problems to solve. Gradually, your focus shifts from each other to the day-to-day details of your individual lives. The differences in the way you each think, feel and act begin to irritate one another.
Before long, you’re arguing, complaining and criticizing more than you’re actually communicating. You’re going around and around in circles over the same old ground. Rehashing the same tired arguments again and again, you grow increasingly more hurt, frustrated and angry with each other.
No matter how good your intentions are, you get drawn into this vortex – every single time. So, you start to pull away from each other. Disengage. One day, you wake up and realize you’re living parallel lives. And you have no idea how it happened.
If you’ve watched this play out in your own relationship, you’re not alone! We felt exactly that way ourselves.
As couples coaches and as mentors, we’ve seen how crazy it can make you feel to repeat those same patterns over and over again.
Einstein said: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
The good news is that you’re not going mad. Many, many other smart, loving committed couples are in this exact same position.
The bad news is that if you haven’t managed to break the pattern on your own yet, you probably won’t. In fact, left to your own devices, you might not even notice you’re in a pattern and can’t get out. And that’s exactly where a couples coach can help.
The right couples coach can:
From surviving to thriving, the possible benefits of coaching are:
If you’ve read this far, a part of you probably suspects you’re ready for the fresh viewpoint a couples coach could offer.
That doesn’t mean you’re a relationship failure. On the contrary, it’s a sign of openness and strength on your part. It shows how much you care about yourself and your partner, and how strong a vision you have for what your relationship could be.
But we’re going to be straight with you here: couples coaches can’t help every couple
If you want coaching help, you need to bring certain things to the table.
We know this might sound challenging, but we wouldn’t be honest if we didn’t tell you it up front. The good news is:
Any discomfort you may feel pales next to the sheer joy of rebuilding an inspired, empowered and thoroughly connected relationship!
You thriving as a couple is our passion. Having made that shift ourselves, we know you can too.
We are Certified Conscious Living and Loving Coaches and have studied with Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks at the world-renowned Hendricks Institute.
“Our coaching approach assists you in shifting from seeing through the ‘eyes of the mind’ to experiencing life through the ‘eyes of the heart’. When this shift occurs, previously intractable problems often resolve quickly and with ease.”
~ Katie Hendricks, Ph.D.