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COACHING

Why work with a couples coach?

Is your relationship everything it could be?

We (Jack and Soorya) have noticed something about the patterns that almost all committed couples go through.  We saw these patterns in our own relationship, and in the relationships of nearly all of our clients and friends.  Maybe you’ve seen them in yours?

Jack and Soorya are coaches that help strengthen relationships

In the early days, everything is wonderful

You and your relationship partner are the centre of each other’s worlds.  You feel blissfully loved and deeply valued.  The communication flows easily and smoothly between you, punctuated by frequent heartfelt “I love you”s. And you never feel more connected, happy or alive than when you’re resting, eyes closed, snuggling softly in each other’s arms.

But then? LIFE happens!

You have kids. Jobs. Responsibilities. Problems to solve. Gradually, your focus shifts from each other to the day-to-day details of your individual lives.  The differences in the way you each think, feel and act begin to irritate one another.

Before long, you’re arguing, complaining and criticizing more than you’re actually communicating.  You’re going around and around in circles over the same old ground. Rehashing the same tired arguments again and again, you grow increasingly more hurt, frustrated and angry with each other.

No matter how good your intentions are, you get drawn into this vortex – every single time. So, you start to pull away from each other.  Disengage. One day, you wake up and realize you’re living parallel lives. And you have no idea how it happened.

 

You’re stuck, and you want more 

If you’ve watched this play out in your own relationship, you’re not alone! We felt exactly that way ourselves. 

As couples coaches and as mentors, we’ve seen how crazy it can make you feel to repeat those same patterns over and over again.

Einstein said: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The good news is that you’re not going mad.  Many, many other smart, loving committed couples are in this exact same position.

The bad news is that if you haven’t managed to break the pattern on your own yet, you probably won’t.  In fact, left to your own devices, you might not even notice you’re in a pattern and can’t get out.  And that’s exactly where a couples coach can help.

Jack and Soorya are coaches that help strengthen relationships

What a couples coach can do for you

The right couples coach can:

  • Help you become aware of repeating patterns that are clearly not working for you.
  • Show you how to accept and have fun with your patterns (and ultimately break free of them!)
  • Introduce you to specific tools and experiential techniques that put you back into the driver’s seat of your relationship.
  • Teach you how to rejuvenate, inspire and empower your connection with each other.
  • Enable you to co-create the next stage of your journey towards being a couple that thrives.

 

From surviving to thriving, the possible benefits of coaching are:

  • Having enough of the things that really matter in your relationship, such as: trust, security, choice, excitement, love, joy, intimacy, fulfillment, aliveness.
  • Being more peaceful, centered and aligned with your values.
  • Being an inspiration not only to yourself and your partner, but to those around you.
  • Discovering your unique contribution as an individual and as a couple, along with goals and practical plans.
  • Growing your relationship to new levels of connection, making love easy.
  • Celebrating and having more fun.

 

How can you tell whether you’re ready for coaching? 

If you’ve read this far, a part of you probably suspects you’re ready for the fresh viewpoint a couples coach could offer.

That doesn’t mean you’re a relationship failure. On the contrary, it’s a sign of openness and strength on your part.  It shows how much you care about yourself and your partner, and how strong a vision you have for what your relationship could be.

 

But we’re going to be straight with you here: couples coaches can’t help every couple

If you want coaching help, you need to bring certain things to the table.

  • Your willingness to take personal responsibility: If you’re ready for coaching, you need to stop blaming and complaining about your partner. Instead, you need to start taking responsibility for everything you say, do and feel – one moment at a time.
  • Your commitment to getting results together: We’re not going to pretend that it will be effortless – it’s going to take some time and energy, and you won’t always get to stay in your comfort zone. Your coach will guide, support and encourage you, but they can’t do the work for you.
  • Your openness to learning: It’s hard to acknowledge that what you’ve been doing isn’t working, and that it’s time to try something new.  But unless you’re open to learning new skills, techniques and tools, your current patterns will keep you trapped.
  • Your readiness to act on what you learn: All the learning and knowledge in the world won’t help your relationship unless you use it.  You need to be committed to taking what you learn from your coach and acting on it.

 

We know this might sound challenging, but we wouldn’t be honest if we didn’t tell you it up front.  The good news is:

Any discomfort you may feel pales next to the sheer joy of rebuilding an inspired, empowered and thoroughly connected relationship!


You thriving as a couple is our passion. Having made that shift ourselves, we know you can too.

We are Certified Conscious Living and Loving Coaches and have studied with Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks at the world-renowned Hendricks Institute.

“Our coaching approach assists you in shifting from seeing through the ‘eyes of the mind’ to experiencing life through the ‘eyes of the heart’.  When this shift occurs, previously intractable problems often resolve quickly and with ease.”
~ Katie Hendricks, Ph.D.